JamTrotting the Globe ~ Uniting Music, Travel & Cultures

An Anthology of “The Dance” – Laughable Story of Dancers

An Anthology of “The Dance”or, Who Are All Those People on the Dance Floor?

Having attended, participated in and played for, many a dance inspired concert, it seems that there are a set number of dance styles that emerge, time after time, at these events. Yes…we often see the same people at different events…but, if you are in a different city, state, or country, those same “dancers” seem to follow! Here is my humble take on the anthology of “The Dance”…for your reading pleasure.

The Dancers 

  1. Mr. Green Jeans – Mr. Green Jeans is at every dancin’ event. LOVES to dance. He’s usually older, losing his hair (which is carefully disguised in a bandana or hat), has dug up his old puka shells, and works up a sweat that is testimony to the non-active ingredient in his “crystal” deodorant.
  2. White Lady – ohhhh The White Lady. She emerges from the seated crowd to bestow her ample (bra-less) charms on those who care to watch. She moves slowly at first, criss-crossing her feet…one over the other, as she grooves to the music, and then stops. One foot forward, arm extended and points at the crowd…wooing them to join her on her musical journey.
  3. Hootchie Mama – Hootchie Mama can come in alllllll shapes and forms. Tall, short, skinny, chubby, black, white, brown, long hair, short hair, young & old. It’s an equal opportunity art form. Hootchie Mama can groove the entire concert w/o stopping. Usually wearing the a)wrong size clothes, b) grinding against her companion, the wall, the air…whatever, c) likes to throw suggestive looks at A.N.Y.  M.A.L.E. that comes into her field of vision.
  4. Hippy Guy/Chick – The Hippy (we’ll call it that for short) oozes patchouli oil…takes request breaks to “check on something outside”, wears layers and layers of clothes, and has an “off in the distance” gaze. These folks usually dance by themselves…prefer Grateful Dead songs, but can still make an appearance at just about any venue.
  5. Think They Are Pro’s Couple – This couple hits the dance floor, waits for the “1”, and starts hoofin’ it. They tip and dive, swoon and swirl, shimmy and shake all while keeping in contact with at least one hand in or on their partners. The chick usually wears “pro-shoes”…just ‘cuz.
  6. Drunken Society Lady/Ladies– Out for a night on the town…one two many cocktails and Patty Sue is the life of the party. On the band’s break, she’s the first one to tell them how FANTASTIC they are. She requests a song while touching the guitar player’s hand or back. When the band returns, she’s front and center and staring down said guitar player as she moves suggestively closer to the stage. She knows he wants her…the 25 year age difference is nothing! She’s hot and she knows it!
  7. Drunk every day People – Must I? You know who you are. Just sayin’…
  8. Expressionist/Interpretive – see #4…these are the folks groovin’ ALWAYS in the back of the area…head nodding, eyes closed, arms moving in expressive gestures, dancin’ like no one’s watchin’, and never, ever on the beat!
  9. Gen X -they have their own style…a happy go lucky kind of bounce in place, little arm movement, but digging the tunes (whether it’s the one the band is playing, or the tune in their head). They can be seen dancing side by side or solo.
  10. Granny w/Soul – yeah…their are a few awesome Granny’s out there. That a) start on the beat, b) keep up with the tempo, c) are usually in fairly good shape, d) just love to dance and they’re pretty darned good!
  11. Belly Dancers – ohhhhhhhh yeah! There is the occasional belly dancin’ troupe that comes in to the arena. Whether their bellies should be displayed or not, these whirling dervishes always seem to entertain, and bring another element to the dance floor.
  12. Reluctant – Usually male. Doesn’t want to dance but does it because the little woman has begged him. He usually lets his arms hang limp at his side, with the only effort made to any form of dance, is to move his feet back and forth, half-heartedly to the beat.
  13. Western – no matter what the music is – Yee haw! These folks just can’t stand it! A good ol’ Texas 2 Step goes with any style music. (well…almost…but not really, but they do it any way)
  14. Tap Dancer “Wanna-be’s” – Then the Broadway rejects or dreamers hit the floor…. bustin’ out all of their best Fred and Ginger moves…which usually do not look anything like Fred and Ginger. Maybe it’s the torn jeans and tennis shoes…but, a grass field or postage stamp sized bar-room dance floor ain’t da place to Tango.
  15. The Kiddo’s – Who doesn’t love the kiddo’s?!! Darling…each and every one of them…natural dancers…no fear…and adorable.
  16. Get a Room! Puhhhhleaaasse get a room. You’ve been dancing for 45 minutes, round and round, locked in a grinding embrace, mackin’ on each other…and every one else is feeling a little like voyeurs…
  17. Too Cool to Groove… Yeah…that guy! He leans against the bar/tree, sits on a bar stool lawn chair, and watches. He never “feels” like dancing, when asked. And usually leaning back with one leg hiked up over the other knee, index finger mustaching his upper lip as he contemplates the dancers having fun.
  18. Think they are “Fly Girls” – Showin’ dem moves! This can either be really good… or a dismal failure. But…gotta give ‘em credit for getting out their and doing their thang.

This anthology is by no means complete. It was merely an observation taken on a fine Saturday afternoon. It is also not meant to make fun or humiliate anyone. Dancing is good for the soul! The next time you’re at a music venue…seated at some table or bar stool…make the effort to get out there…and shake that thang! The band will love you and the audience will be entertained. In the meantime…have a great day, be kind to one another… Peace Out! 

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